Frequently Asked Questions

What if my friend doesn’t want help?

If your friend is suffering from a mental health problem, she’s likely struggling with a variety of accompanying emotions, which may include worry, anxiety, denial, or even embarrassment. If your friend insists “nothing’s wrong” or she “doesn’t need help,” your best bet is continued, persistent support and contact. Call often, be an active part of her life, and make it clear that you’re always available to talk. Be sure you tell her that mental health problems are like other illnesses that can be treated. You can’t force a friend to seek help (unless in an extreme situation, such as attempted suicide), but you can show, with your actions, that she can trust and depend on you when she’s ready to talk.

How long will it take my friend to get back to "normal?"

One of the most important factors in recovery from mental illness is the understanding and acceptance of friends. Your friend may face a long-term struggle, or may be back to his “old self” relatively quickly with the help of medication and/or psychotherapy. Relationships change and grow constantly, so consider this an opportunity to strengthen your friendship by looking ahead, rather than waiting for things to return to “normal.” Through it all you can make a difference by offering reassurance, companionship, and emotional strength.

Should I tell my friend’s parents that I think something is wrong?

This is a difficult issue, since you don’t want to betray your friend’s trust, but you also want to be sure your friend gets the help she needs. Encourage your friend to confide in her parents, a doctor, or another trusted adult. Give her the opportunity to seek help first. If things don’t improve, contact your school health center or one of the many mental health organizations in Iowa for advice.

What should I do when my friend talks about suicide?

People who talk about suicide may try it, so never take threats lightly. Talking about suicide is a cry for help that should be addressed seriously and immediately. Here are a few things you can do:

• Express your concern and offer to help your friend make an appointment with a counselor, student health center, or a family doctor.
• Ask how you can help.
• Refer your friend to the many resources available on this site. Be persistent. Continue to call and check on your friend – let him know that you’re there for him. In extreme situations, make an immediate call together to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-TALK).
• Make sure your friend knows you’re available to talk day or night.   

How can I get more involved with this issue?

Visiting this site is a great first step! We encourage you to arm yourself with facts, and use your knowledge to educate others and reach out to people around you with mental health problems. There are a variety of Iowa organizations with volunteer opportunities. Visit our Resources section for a list. Also, check this site frequently for information on upcoming Support A Friend Iowa events in 
your area.

Take Action Now: Ask your friend what you can do to help. Then be there for her.